During 2023 I had more than one loss, but the recent loss of my dear friend Gina Moss hit me hard.
Gina and I met somewhere in the early 1980s, but we became close friends in 2005 shortly after my husband Dan was in a horrible accident. She took the time to reach out to me and what she did meant so much. Every email and every call from Gina made me so happy.
She really cared and took the time to share joy with me. She would talk to me about music, the photos she took of birds and the outdoors, about her children and husband Josh, and about lots of other topics. I looked forward to every communication from Gina.
Gina
After Dan got better, we continued to send letters and emails to one another and talk on the phone.
Gina would tell me about her physical problems and I could tell they were very serious. She told me she was using an electric wheelchair and that the vehicle she drove had been adjusted for her disability.
She was genuinely interested in my family’s life and read all my letters and emails and updates with interest.
When my book MY SKATING LIFE came out, Gina was one of the first people to review it on Amazon.
Gina was one of those people that always had something wonderful to say and lit up a room. She had the most beautiful voice and was also fluent in sign language because her grandparents were deaf and her mother was a sign language interpreter.
Gina and Josh Moss - Newlyweds
I remember when she and Josh Moss got engaged and the beautiful music they could make together. I remember when they bought their first VCR since I remember Josh talking to Gina on the phone about recording shows. I remember when their children were born. I remember when they moved to Ohio and then when they moved to North Carolina.
The Moss Family
When my son Joel was touring with Disney On Ice and the tour went to Greensboro, North Carolina, Josh and Gina picked him up and took him out to dinner. I was so grateful for that.
I would call Gina from time to time and one time when I called, I learned they had moved to Irvine, California and that was near Anaheim where Joel was doing a Disney On Ice show, so Joel, my dad, and I visited Josh and Gina.
Shortly after that I made a commitment to visit Gina and Josh whenever I went to California.
Here’s a card I sent to Gina
Covid took over and I couldn’t go to California or visit, but when it was safe, I saw Gina and Josh at least two to three more times. Then, my father died and I could no longer visit California, so I decided to write Gina letters and cards (not emails) since it seemed it became harder and harder for her to respond. I just wanted her to know that I cared even if I did not hear back from her.
Gina’s death on November 17, 2023 caught me off guard. I’d been thinking about her and was sad couldn’t go to California to see her. It always happens that way: I think of someone and then they are gone.
Thank you for being my friend Gina. I can still hear your voice and see your smile. Miss you.
Something really horrible happened on Saturday May 22, 2021... I learned that one of my dearest and closest friends, Hellene Orenstein Anderson, died.
My entire family is in shock and so are some of us who were close to Hellene.
Below is a photo of Hellene with my kids and me and her son Sam from 2005. The song “Remember Me” is in my head right now. Even though she is gone, she is forever in my family’s heart.💕❤️
Below are my memories of our friendship with Hellene which goes back for more than two decades.
On July 23, 1999, my daughter Annabelle was born. A week later, our family celebrated the birth at a Hebrew baby naming ceremony at Temple Shalom in Colorado Springs. As we left the Bima (the front platform stage) after that quick Hebrew baby naming ceremony, I noticed a very pregnant woman smiling and smiling at the bottom of the Bima. The joy on her face was overwhelming. I will never forget that smile and that face. I knew deep inside that this very pregnant woman was so, so excited about the birth of her own baby that she was experiencing the joy I was experiencing holding my new baby! It was like the two of us formed a bond that day. That smiling very pregnant woman was Hellene Orenstein Anderson.
A few years passed. One day I was at the Ice Arena at Chapel Hills Mall in Colorado Springs and I recognized the woman I’d remembered from Annabelle’s Hebrew baby naming ceremony. She had a cute little boy with her who had been the baby in her tummy. I introduced myself.
“You probably don’t remember me, but I remember you,” I told her. “You left a distinct memory in my brain when I saw you smiling at the bottom of the Bima at my daughter’s Hebrew baby naming ceremony when you were VERY pregnant. I knew you were just so excited about having a baby and now I see that baby is three years (almost four years) old!”
Hellene was so sweet. “Yes! Wow! This is Sammy.”
Sammy was wearing white skates and had a cute little bunny helmet on. He took private lessons from Ren, the mother of Jenna and Ben. We found out later that my dear friend Larisa was friends with Ren.
We exchanged contact information and I told Hellene we were going to Temple Shalom’s Friday evening family service and invited her to meet us that night.
And...sure enough...Hellene showed up and we had a nice time getting to know one another after the service. That seemed to begin what was to become a very close friendship.
Hellene taught a preschool program through Hadassah called Training Wheels and invited my three kids to join in even though Joel and Rebekah were no longer preschoolers. The group met every Sunday for 4 or 5 consecutive weeks.
It was at that group that I approached Hellene about making Sam and my little Annabelle (who was only about five weeks older than Sam) into ice skating partners.
Annabelle and Sammy - Ice Skating Partners - Four Years Old!
Sam and Annabelle were the cutest pair and ice dance team ever! They’d stroke around on different feet, but it didn’t matter. They were just too darn cute! Annabelle’s ponytail sometimes slammed Sam as they spun around.
I’d teach Sam and Annabelle right alongside Joel and Rebekah at the mall rink and all four kids became friends. We were family. People thought I had four, not three children at times.
Hellene and Sammy were very close to Betty and Kelli Knight. Kelli also took private lessons from Ren. Kelli became part of “our little family” and played with Rebekah and Ren's daughter Jenna. Ren's son Ben played with Sam and Joel. Annabelle played with her dolls and everyone. Hellene would bring her Pokemon cards to the rink. We even played musical keyboards at the ice rink and I recall teaching Sam to play a little piano in the ice rink!
Joel and little Sammy were close buddies and sometimes Hellene would drop Sam off at our house for the kids to play together.
My dad told me to tell Hellene to get Sam some black skates since his skates were white, so eventually she bought him black boot covers.
Life then was like a Peter Pan adventure...together we’d jump from one adventure to another!
All the kids participated in DeeDee Knierim’s Cat’s of Ice in 2005. Sammy was the older cat version of little Annabelle I recall.
Sammy and Annabelle in Cats On Ice 2005
Then my life changed forever on September 16, 2005 when my husband Dan was in a horrible accident. Hellene and Betty came to the rescue and helped me get through one of the darkest times in our family’s life. They cared for my kids while I was at the hospital with Dan. Dan miraculously lived, but during the time he was in a coma and supposed to die, Hellene and Betty brought their children to the rink to play with my children. I would skate in the middle of the ice doing figures as the kids played. We also went roller skating together.
After Dan miraculously recovered, life seemed to return to normal, but during that time of recovery, the wonderful Ice Arena at Chapel Hills Mall closed. I took my kids to the World Arena to skate and Hellene followed with Sam.
Annabelle and Sam
I continued to teach Sam and Annabelle there and the four kids continued to play together there. Every Monday we’d skip the heavy duty World Arena training and we would go to Colorado College to skate instead. Sammy even suggested Annabelle and her American Girl Skating Doll do the Rhythm Blues with him at Colorado College!
The stress of skating at the World Arena took some of the fun out of skating, but I do remember Sam and Annabelle doing a pair skating routine together to Star Wars at one Friday Fire and Ice exhibitions. They continued to be the cutest pair team ever!
Larisa and Sam
Sam began lessons with my dear friend Larisa during the time of Dan’s accident and Larisa took him far, but eventually the pressure to have a World Arena coach took over and Sam switched to Eddie Shipstad as his main coach.
Sam did incredibly well under both Eddie and Larisa and qualified for Junior Nationals at the same time my kids did. Hellene was a true and very nervous skating mom I recall. Sam won the Juvenile Boys regional title and Annabelle won the test track Juvenile Girls regional title.
Jeff, Sam, and Hellene Anderson at the Renaissance Festival
As the kids grew, we continued to do special things together. We especially tried to get together at Passover. We did a Break Fast at Hellene’s parents’ townhouse after Hellene moved her parents from Queens, New York to Colorado Springs. We went to the Renaissance Festival with Hellene’s husband Jeff, Hellene, and Sam. We played at the park. I took Sam to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo with Annabelle. We went to New York City in 2007 and skated at the Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers together and Hellene showed us NYC New Yorker style. I remember the kids having a blast at FAO Swartz toy store and going on a Ferris Wheel together right in the store!
After Hellene’s mother Selma passed, we got to know Hellene’s father Leo better and grew to love him. What a wonderful grandfather he was! I remember at a Thanksgiving meal at our home that Leo said he was so thankful for Sam and Hellene and they both had given him hope after Selma passed.
Hellene and Leo
When Sam had his Bar Mitzvah, I will never forget the look of the proud grandpa on Leo’s face.
On the tragic day when my dear friend Larisa’s 25 year old daughter Valerie was murdered (Memorial Day weekend 2008), Hellene was the one who called me with the horrible news. At Valerie’s funeral, Hellene saved front row seats for us to sit in so we could be together.
Larisa, Hellene, Jo Ann
Sam also took part at Mountain Vista Homeschool Academy and the Colorado Springs Conservatory, so we had that in common. Hellene homeschooled him for a time.
Thanksgiving With Sam, Leo, Hellene, and Jeff
As the kids grew older, Sam left skating and went to public school. Hellene and her husband Jeff divorced. We saw Hellene and Sam less and less, but we continued to have Shabbat dinners, Passover Seders, and Thanksgivings together.
If I needed something, if Hellene could handle it, she was there for me.
She helped me buy all the food for my daughter Rebekah’s Bat Mitzvah in June of 2012. Sam helped usher and greet people.
She would watch our dog. She would feed our tortoise. I would bring her my unwanted care packages from Torah Mates around Purim, Passover, and Chanukah.
Sam, Joel, Rebekah, and Annabelle at Rosh Hashanah In the Mountains
In 2019, I needed someone to drive with me to the mountains to see Annabelle at the Ramah Outdoor Adventure Camp and we had a wonderful time together. She was at Rebekah’s 21st birthday celebration and showered Rebekah with gifts.
When Rebekah had surgery to remove a benign tumor, both Hellene and Betty were there.
When her father Leo died, I HAD to be at the service. Betty was there too and so was Larisa.
In August of 2020, Rebekah delivered a birthday cake to Hellene. She told me how proud she was of Rebekah. “You raised an incredible daughter,” she told me.
Betty died suddenly at the end of 2017, leaving Kelli without a mother, so Hellene tried her best to be a mother to Kelli.
During the Pandemic shutdown, I called Hellene a several times, but I did not see her face to face. We’d text once in a while too. We’d both been a part of Temple Shalom’s Tuesday morning Torah Study so once in a while we’d both listen in to the study via Zoom during the lockdown. She told me that the lockdown had not affected her much since she'd been withdrawing from socializing for a long time and had only ventured out for doctors appointments, shopping, and Pokeman (she loved Pokeman!).
Kelli texted me via Facebook Messenger on the Saturday morning May 22, 2021 asking if we could go by Hellene’s townhome since she had not answered her phone for three to four days. Kelli lives in Texas now and said that Hellene had never gone that long without responding and was worried. I told Kelli we were in California visiting family, so Kelli asked a friend in Colorado Springs to check on her instead. Late on Saturday afternoon, Kelli called me and told me in tears that Hellene was no longer with us.
Hearing this news is and was a shock. I think of Carole King’s song “Now and Forever” when I think of Hellene. Some of the lyrics are: “Now and forever, you are a part of me, and the memory cuts like a knife...didn’t we love together? Didn’t we laugh together? Now and forever, I will always think of you.”
Yes, Hellene, your were part of my life and the entire Schneider-Farris family will always be with and think of you. You are a part of me; a part of us. Hugs and love also to her son Sam and also to Kelli and to her two ex-husbands, Jeff and David. We love you Hellene.
I wrote this memory below of my very special friend Bill Westmoreland in November of 1998. His sister Jane Westmoreland found me yesterday, 5/16/2020, via Facebook and hearing from her brought his memory back in my life. Bill will always be in my heart.
The Jewish tradition of remembering loved ones comes to mind when I think of Bill since by remembering someone, they stay alive. Bill died in 1994, but he is forever alive in my heart and in his sister's heart and memory. He was a very special friend.
Bill and Jo Ann - 1979
(Unfortunately, the photo of me and Bill below has disappeared, but I was able to scan it again and added it above.)
In memory of my friend
Bill Westmoreland
Bill and Jo Ann -- Christmas 1979
Dan and I had a wonderful friend named Bill, from our Atherton House days. Bill made me laugh. Bill made me happy. He loved animals; and in our backyard, he raised chickens, ducks, turkeys, and rabbits. His best friend was a girl named Allison who never wore any shoes. They loved to cook together, and experimented with all sorts of recipes: one failed: orange pie! One day, Bill and Allison surprised everyone with some home made stew -- it was rabbit stew-- directly from our backyard!
We shared our food at the Atherton House with Bill. We still have some food marked "DJB" (Dan, Jo Ann, and Bill)! When we moved out of the house, we named one of our refrigerators after Bill.
Bill loved to play the piano. We had an old piano at the house that we bought from Russ Park for $400 cash. Bill loved to play "The Entertainer." He didn't mind listening to me play, although I never played on time or on key.
Bill also rode a motorcycle. He loved going out to ride with his friend Bob, who also lived in the House. They looked like quite a pair when they rode together. Bill was the one who originally brought Bob to the House.
Bill also went skating with me; he was always willing to make new friends and try something new. He had a temper too. He came from a big family and he raised his younger sisters since their father was never around, and their mother died when they were all quite young.
Bill was such a dear and wonderful friend, and I loved him so much.
Bill was kicked out of the Atherton House when he "came out" as being gay. At first he visited the house, since we were "his family", but as time went on, he paved his own way. We didn't see him much as the years passed. He had a job as a radiology technician and bought a home in Fountain Valley, California.
Eventually Bill told us he was HIV Positive, and near the end of his life, he sold his home and moved to Georgia where his sister could take care of him. He bought a new piano and during the end of his life, he played it daily. He called us several times near the end, and I remember him telling me he was looking forward to dying since it would finally be over and he would be free from pain.
Bill died on October 3, 1994. I miss him so much.
--------------------------------------------
Jo Ann Schneider Farris
November 16, 1998
(Bill's birthday falls on November 17th; I just happened to write this memorial about him near his birthday!)
My friendship with Rhonda reminds me of a friendship with a pen-pal that I finally get to meet face to face. She has become one of my closest and dearest friends and what's amazing is we did not know one another face to face until just a few years ago.
Rhonda and I first met online in 2002 during the days of E-Groups/Yahoo Groups. We were both members of a group associated with a religious organization I once worked for and where Rhonda and her husband worked at. We had a mutual friend, Lisa Cohen, who told her about a book I wrote. Rhonda read the book I wrote about my life, so Rhonda had the advantage of knowing something about me, but I knew little about her.
I wrote posts in that Yahoo Group and Rhonda would respond. She seemed like a sensitive person, but that is all I really knew.
One of first really major connections occurred on September 16, 2005. That was the day Rhonda's second child, a son, named Daniel was born.
September 16, 2005 was also the day that my husband, Dan, was in a horrible accident that changed my family's life forever. Until then, my life and my children's lives were like Peter Pan: We seemed to jump from one adventure to another and thought only happy thoughts. All that changed that day.
On that day, although Rhonda was giving birth, I asked people from all religions to pray for my husband and pray for me and my children. She promised she would do that.
Dan miraculously lived and recovered.
As the years passed, Rhonda kept in touch with me online. She had another child, a boy named Yossi, in 2010. I was actively unschooling-homeschooling my three children and Rhonda was doing the same thing although her children are younger than mine.
In September of 2016, I heard from Rhonda while I was in southern California.. She reached out to me via Facebook Messenger and asked if perhaps I could meet her at her children's home school supplement that met in Long Beach while she was on a break from teaching. She told me she had no "agenda" and was, at the time, on break from her work with the religious organization. We exchanged some emails. I decided I really wanted and needed to meet Rhonda face to face.
I told her I'd bring some scooters and hang out with her boys during their lunch break at the homeschool co-operative supplement. Her oldest child, Gabriella, was at another homeschool program the day we met.
Getting together was so fun that I suggested we meet at a local ice rink and I would teach her children to skate. Again, we had a great time together and I fell in love with her children too.
As time has passed, every time I am in Long Beach, I get together with Rhonda. Sometimes we just take a walk or hike together or sometimes we go out for a meal or coffee. After skating once, I got to visit her house and meet her dog. During my last trip to California, I finally got her to scooter with me!
Last year, one of the highlights of our friendship was attending her son Daniel's Bar Mitzvah which took place in the Gordon's backyard. Daniel did a great job. The connection I have with Daniel since he was born the same day of my husband Dan's accident came to me on that special day. Her daughter Gabriella sang "Let Us Exalt His Name Together" which is one of my favorite songs. It was very moving to hear that song at Daniel's Bar Mitzvah. Our mutual friends, Lisa and Mike Cohen, were at the Bar Mitzvah. Mike ran the service. I also got to see Rhonda's friend Stephanie Silverman who I had met in Colorado Springs when Stephanie was visiting her sister Michelle. (Rhonda really wanted me to meet her friend Stephanie and I can see why...Stephanie is so, so sweet!)
As my friendship with Rhonda grew, I eventually got to know Rhonda's husband, Cyril. We met face to face for the first time at a Chinese restaurant. The entire Gordon family came to that restaurant, but also our friend Dan and Lori Olds came. I was totally amazed that night since way before I'd met Rhonda, I'd met Cyril via email back in 2002. He, at the time, did not agree with some activity I was involved in. What happened then is not necessary to explain on this blog, but what I dreamed for then was the reconciliation of certain people who had once worked for the religious organization both Cyril and Rhonda worked for. For me, that night showed that some of my dream came true since I was eating and sharing company with Cyril and his family. How totally wonderful is that?!!!!
(At another meal at the same Chinese restaurant Rhonda introduced me to her friend Marlayne Giron.)
Also, this past summer, I went to New Zealand for two weeks to see my daughter Rebekah who was performing with Disney On Ice in New Zealand. I needed someone to keep an eye on my dad and take him out to eat. Cyril made the commitment to be with my dad every day and Rhonda filled in when Cyril could not be there. Just before I left I got to take their cute dog Charlie (sometimes called Mootles) for a scooter ride with me while Cyril took my dad to the Men's Club at Temple Israel.
Rhonda and her family have also gotten to know my husband Dan and my son Joel. The entire Gordon family got to see Joel perform in Disney On Ice Frozen in Long Beach and Rhonda and her kids got to see Joel perform again in Disney On Ice Mickey's Search Party.
We share a love of healthy food (mostly vegan) so we met at Rhonda's favorite vegetarian Asian restaurant (Happy Veggie) and also at Veggie Grille and Mother's. We've even shared Japanese Curry together which is my son Joel's favorite.
As time has passed, I've learned some very cool things about Rhonda. She grew up in New York. She holds a Master's Degree and is working on a PsyD and is a registered psychology assistant! She is also a teacher. She also was an aerobics instructor. She wrote for several newspapers and had articles published in several magazines including Old Schoolhouse Magazine and Practical Homeschooling.
She and Cyril met in Hawaii and only knew one another for only three weeks before they got married on January 16, 1999! How romantic is that!!!? Also, Cyril is both an Israeli and French citizen.
It's been only three and a half years since Rhonda reached out to me, but what has evolved is a friendship I cherish. We can call one another anytime and confide in one another. We care about each other like family. We are so much alike and we are almost like sisters. I know we will be lifelong friends.
