Jo Ann's Friends: 2020

I wrote this memory below of my very special friend Bill Westmoreland in November of 1998. His sister Jane Westmoreland found me yesterday, 5/16/2020, via Facebook and hearing from her brought his memory back in my life. Bill will always be in my heart.

The Jewish tradition of remembering loved ones comes to mind when I think of Bill since by remembering someone, they stay alive. Bill died in 1994, but he is forever alive in my heart and in his sister's heart and memory. He was a very special friend.

Bill and Jo Ann - 1979

(Unfortunately, the photo of me and Bill below has disappeared, but I was able to scan it again and added it above.)

In memory of my friend

Bill Westmoreland

Bill and Jo Ann -- Christmas 1979

Dan and I had a wonderful friend named Bill, from our Atherton House days. Bill made me laugh. Bill made me happy. He loved animals; and in our backyard, he raised chickens, ducks, turkeys, and rabbits. His best friend was a girl named Allison who never wore any shoes. They loved to cook together, and experimented with all sorts of recipes: one failed: orange pie! One day, Bill and Allison surprised everyone with some home made stew -- it was rabbit stew-- directly from our backyard!

We shared our food at the Atherton House with Bill. We still have some food marked "DJB" (Dan, Jo Ann, and Bill)! When we moved out of the house, we named one of our refrigerators after Bill.

Bill loved to play the piano. We had an old piano at the house that we bought from Russ Park for $400 cash. Bill loved to play "The Entertainer." He didn't mind listening to me play, although I never played on time or on key.

Bill also rode a motorcycle. He loved going out to ride with his friend Bob, who also lived in the House. They looked like quite a pair when they rode together. Bill was the one who originally brought Bob to the House.

Bill also went skating with me; he was always willing to make new friends and try something new. He had a temper too. He came from a big family and he raised his younger sisters since their father was never around, and their mother died when they were all quite young.

Bill was such a dear and wonderful friend, and I loved him so much.

Bill was kicked out of the Atherton House when he "came out" as being gay. At first he visited the house, since we were "his family", but as time went on, he paved his own way. We didn't see him much as the years passed. He had a job as a radiology technician and bought a home in Fountain Valley, California.

Eventually Bill told us he was HIV Positive, and near the end of his life, he sold his home and moved to Georgia where his sister could take care of him. He bought a new piano and during the end of his life, he played it daily. He called us several times near the end, and I remember him telling me he was looking forward to dying since it would finally be over and he would be free from pain.

Bill died on October 3, 1994. I miss him so much.

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Jo Ann Schneider Farris

November 16, 1998

(Bill's birthday falls on November 17th; I just happened to write this memorial about him near his birthday!)

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Rhonda and I first met online in 2002 during the days of E-Groups/Yahoo Groups. We were both members of a group associated with a religious organization I once worked for and where Rhonda and her husband worked at. We had a mutual friend, Lisa Cohen, who told her about a book I wrote. Rhonda read the book I wrote about my life, so Rhonda had the advantage of knowing something about me, but I knew little about her.

I wrote posts in that Yahoo Group and Rhonda would respond. She seemed like a sensitive person, but that is all I really knew.

One of first really major connections occurred on September 16, 2005. That was the day Rhonda's second child, a son, named Daniel was born.

September 16, 2005 was also the day that my husband, Dan, was in a horrible accident that changed my family's life forever. Until then, my life and my children's lives were like Peter Pan: We seemed to jump from one adventure to another and thought only happy thoughts. All that changed that day.

On that day, although Rhonda was giving birth, I asked people from all religions to pray for my husband and pray for me and my children. She promised she would do that.

Dan miraculously lived and recovered.

As the years passed, Rhonda kept in touch with me online. She had another child, a boy named Yossi, in 2010. I was actively unschooling-homeschooling my three children and Rhonda was doing the same thing although her children are younger than mine.

In September of 2016, I heard from Rhonda while I was in southern California.. She reached out to me via Facebook Messenger and asked if perhaps I could meet her at her children's home school supplement that met in Long Beach while she was on a break from teaching. She told me she had no "agenda" and was, at the time, on break from her work with the religious organization. We exchanged some emails. I decided I really wanted and needed to meet Rhonda face to face.

I told her I'd bring some scooters and hang out with her boys during their lunch break at the homeschool co-operative supplement. Her oldest child, Gabriella, was at another homeschool program the day we met.

Getting together was so fun that I suggested we meet at a local ice rink and I would teach her children to skate. Again, we had a great time together and I fell in love with her children too.

As time has passed, every time I am in Long Beach, I get together with Rhonda. Sometimes we just take a walk or hike together or sometimes we go out for a meal or coffee. After skating once, I got to visit her house and meet her dog. During my last trip to California, I finally got her to scooter with me!

Last year, one of the highlights of our friendship was attending her son Daniel's Bar Mitzvah which took place in the Gordon's backyard. Daniel did a great job. The connection I have with Daniel since he was born the same day of my husband Dan's accident came to me on that special day. Her daughter Gabriella sang "Let Us Exalt His Name Together" which is one of my favorite songs. It was very moving to hear that song at Daniel's Bar Mitzvah. Our mutual friends, Lisa and Mike Cohen, were at the Bar Mitzvah. Mike ran the service. I also got to see Rhonda's friend Stephanie Silverman who I had met in Colorado Springs when Stephanie was visiting her sister Michelle. (Rhonda really wanted me to meet her friend Stephanie and I can see why...Stephanie is so, so sweet!)

As my friendship with Rhonda grew, I eventually got to know Rhonda's husband, Cyril. We met face to face for the first time at a Chinese restaurant. The entire Gordon family came to that restaurant, but also our friend Dan and Lori Olds came. I was totally amazed that night since way before I'd met Rhonda, I'd met Cyril via email back in 2002. He, at the time, did not agree with some activity I was involved in. What happened then is not necessary to explain on this blog, but what I dreamed for then was the reconciliation of certain people who had once worked for the religious organization both Cyril and Rhonda worked for. For me, that night showed that some of my dream came true since I was eating and sharing company with Cyril and his family. How totally wonderful is that?!!!!

(At another meal at the same Chinese restaurant Rhonda introduced me to her friend Marlayne Giron.)

Also, this past summer, I went to New Zealand for two weeks to see my daughter Rebekah who was performing with Disney On Ice in New Zealand. I needed someone to keep an eye on my dad and take him out to eat. Cyril made the commitment to be with my dad every day and Rhonda filled in when Cyril could not be there. Just before I left I got to take their cute dog Charlie (sometimes called Mootles) for a scooter ride with me while Cyril took my dad to the Men's Club at Temple Israel.

Rhonda and her family have also gotten to know my husband Dan and my son Joel. The entire Gordon family got to see Joel perform in Disney On Ice Frozen in Long Beach and Rhonda and her kids got to see Joel perform again in Disney On Ice Mickey's Search Party.

We share a love of healthy food (mostly vegan) so we met at Rhonda's favorite vegetarian Asian restaurant (Happy Veggie) and also at Veggie Grille and Mother's. We've even shared Japanese Curry together which is my son Joel's favorite.

As time has passed, I've learned some very cool things about Rhonda. She grew up in New York. She holds a Master's Degree and is working on a PsyD and is a registered psychology assistant! She is also a teacher. She also was an aerobics instructor. She wrote for several newspapers and had articles published in several magazines including Old Schoolhouse Magazine and Practical Homeschooling.

She and Cyril met in Hawaii and only knew one another for only three weeks before they got married on January 16, 1999! How romantic is that!!!? Also, Cyril is both an Israeli and French citizen.

It's been only three and a half years since Rhonda reached out to me, but what has evolved is a friendship I cherish. We can call one another anytime and confide in one another. We care about each other like family. We are so much alike and we are almost like sisters. I know we will be lifelong friends.

Jo Ann's Friends

Sunday, May 17, 2020

In Memory Of My Friend Bill Westmoreland

FURTHER READING:

Friday, January 31, 2020

My Friendship With Rhonda Reminds Me of a Friendship With a Pen-Pal That I Finally Meet Face to Face

FURTHER READING: