Another loss in 2023…on December 27, 2023, just before midnight, I just found my childhood friend Sara Morgan Wade died after a short battle with cancer. I am on the end in this photo and Sara is the little girl second from the left with short dark brown hair. We reunited in the early 2000s and sent emails to one another every day. We became close as adults and it was like we were never apart. We sent emails to one another every day and learned so much about one another’s lives.
Mark wrote me the following on December 28, 2023:
Sara’s mother Lila is still with us. She has been living with us for the past year.
Sara had gone into urgent care for what we thought was an asthma attack and came out with stage 4 lung cancer. That was on October 6 of this year.
Much to fast and way too soon
Below are several photos of Sara that will help keep her memory alive.
Young Sara and Mark Wade
Sara and Mark Wade
Mark, their late son Aaron who passed in 2020 during the Covid lockdown, and Sara
Sara
Mark and Sara
Also, below is a photo of Sara and Mark’s late son Aaron with his sibling Morgan.
Sarah and Mark’s late son Aaron
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And…here is the card I sent to Mark, Morgan, and Sara’s mother Lila:
Deborah Knauss Hackman December 13, 1958 —- February 23, 2023
(Note: I meant to publish this post in February or March of 2023…the year passed quickly and I never completed the post until late December 2023, but remembering my friend Debbie Knauss Hackman as 2023 ends is so important to me.)
When I was newly married and 22 years old, I put an advertisement in SKATING Magazine for an ice dance partner. I got all sorts of responses. One response was from Debbie Knauss who thought she’d seen me perform at the US National Figure Skating Championships. She wasn’t interested in being my skating partner, but wanted to tell me she saw me skate and enjoyed my skating. It turned out she saw someone named Judy Ferris perform, not Jo Ann Schneider Farris (me), but since she wrote me such a nice letter, I asked her if she’d like to be my pen pal since we were about the same age.
So….
When I was 22 years old in 1979, (Debbie Knauss) Deb Hackman and I became Pen Pals.
We were so much a part of one another’s lives for decades, but we didn’t meet face to face until 2014.
On February 24, 2023, I learned that Deb suddenly passed away. I was in shock.
The photos below are from our day together in 2014. Also in the photo is Lisa Threston who I went to junior high school with who knew Deb too, my late father, and Deb’s daughter Rachel.
I feel like a piece of my life has been ripped away suddenly since we poured our hearts out to one another as young women. We were there for one another for marriages, births, deaths and losses, holidays, and life’s ups and downs. Just knowing I can’t just say “Hi” will be difficult
During 2023 I had more than one loss, but the recent loss of my dear friend Gina Moss hit me hard.
Gina and I met somewhere in the early 1980s, but we became close friends in 2005 shortly after my husband Dan was in a horrible accident. She took the time to reach out to me and what she did meant so much. Every email and every call from Gina made me so happy.
She really cared and took the time to share joy with me. She would talk to me about music, the photos she took of birds and the outdoors, about her children and husband Josh, and about lots of other topics. I looked forward to every communication from Gina.
Gina
After Dan got better, we continued to send letters and emails to one another and talk on the phone.
Gina would tell me about her physical problems and I could tell they were very serious. She told me she was using an electric wheelchair and that the vehicle she drove had been adjusted for her disability.
She was genuinely interested in my family’s life and read all my letters and emails and updates with interest.
When my book MY SKATING LIFE came out, Gina was one of the first people to review it on Amazon.
Gina was one of those people that always had something wonderful to say and lit up a room. She had the most beautiful voice and was also fluent in sign language because her grandparents were deaf and her mother was a sign language interpreter.
Gina and Josh Moss - Newlyweds
I remember when she and Josh Moss got engaged and the beautiful music they could make together. I remember when they bought their first VCR since I remember Josh talking to Gina on the phone about recording shows. I remember when their children were born. I remember when they moved to Ohio and then when they moved to North Carolina.
The Moss Family
When my son Joel was touring with Disney On Ice and the tour went to Greensboro, North Carolina, Josh and Gina picked him up and took him out to dinner. I was so grateful for that.
I would call Gina from time to time and one time when I called, I learned they had moved to Irvine, California and that was near Anaheim where Joel was doing a Disney On Ice show, so Joel, my dad, and I visited Josh and Gina.
Shortly after that I made a commitment to visit Gina and Josh whenever I went to California.
Here’s a card I sent to Gina
Covid took over and I couldn’t go to California or visit, but when it was safe, I saw Gina and Josh at least two to three more times. Then, my father died and I could no longer visit California, so I decided to write Gina letters and cards (not emails) since it seemed it became harder and harder for her to respond. I just wanted her to know that I cared even if I did not hear back from her.
Gina’s death on November 17, 2023 caught me off guard. I’d been thinking about her and was sad couldn’t go to California to see her. It always happens that way: I think of someone and then they are gone.
Thank you for being my friend Gina. I can still hear your voice and see your smile. Miss you.
Something really horrible happened on Saturday May 22, 2021... I learned that one of my dearest and closest friends, Hellene Orenstein Anderson, died.
My entire family is in shock and so are some of us who were close to Hellene.
Below is a photo of Hellene with my kids and me and her son Sam from 2005. The song “Remember Me” is in my head right now. Even though she is gone, she is forever in my family’s heart.💕❤️
Below are my memories of our friendship with Hellene which goes back for more than two decades.
On July 23, 1999, my daughter Annabelle was born. A week later, our family celebrated the birth at a Hebrew baby naming ceremony at Temple Shalom in Colorado Springs. As we left the Bima (the front platform stage) after that quick Hebrew baby naming ceremony, I noticed a very pregnant woman smiling and smiling at the bottom of the Bima. The joy on her face was overwhelming. I will never forget that smile and that face. I knew deep inside that this very pregnant woman was so, so excited about the birth of her own baby that she was experiencing the joy I was experiencing holding my new baby! It was like the two of us formed a bond that day. That smiling very pregnant woman was Hellene Orenstein Anderson.
A few years passed. One day I was at the Ice Arena at Chapel Hills Mall in Colorado Springs and I recognized the woman I’d remembered from Annabelle’s Hebrew baby naming ceremony. She had a cute little boy with her who had been the baby in her tummy. I introduced myself.
“You probably don’t remember me, but I remember you,” I told her. “You left a distinct memory in my brain when I saw you smiling at the bottom of the Bima at my daughter’s Hebrew baby naming ceremony when you were VERY pregnant. I knew you were just so excited about having a baby and now I see that baby is three years (almost four years) old!”
Hellene was so sweet. “Yes! Wow! This is Sammy.”
Sammy was wearing white skates and had a cute little bunny helmet on. He took private lessons from Ren, the mother of Jenna and Ben. We found out later that my dear friend Larisa was friends with Ren.
We exchanged contact information and I told Hellene we were going to Temple Shalom’s Friday evening family service and invited her to meet us that night.
And...sure enough...Hellene showed up and we had a nice time getting to know one another after the service. That seemed to begin what was to become a very close friendship.
Hellene taught a preschool program through Hadassah called Training Wheels and invited my three kids to join in even though Joel and Rebekah were no longer preschoolers. The group met every Sunday for 4 or 5 consecutive weeks.
It was at that group that I approached Hellene about making Sam and my little Annabelle (who was only about five weeks older than Sam) into ice skating partners.
Annabelle and Sammy - Ice Skating Partners - Four Years Old!
Sam and Annabelle were the cutest pair and ice dance team ever! They’d stroke around on different feet, but it didn’t matter. They were just too darn cute! Annabelle’s ponytail sometimes slammed Sam as they spun around.
I’d teach Sam and Annabelle right alongside Joel and Rebekah at the mall rink and all four kids became friends. We were family. People thought I had four, not three children at times.
Hellene and Sammy were very close to Betty and Kelli Knight. Kelli also took private lessons from Ren. Kelli became part of “our little family” and played with Rebekah and Ren's daughter Jenna. Ren's son Ben played with Sam and Joel. Annabelle played with her dolls and everyone. Hellene would bring her Pokemon cards to the rink. We even played musical keyboards at the ice rink and I recall teaching Sam to play a little piano in the ice rink!
Joel and little Sammy were close buddies and sometimes Hellene would drop Sam off at our house for the kids to play together.
My dad told me to tell Hellene to get Sam some black skates since his skates were white, so eventually she bought him black boot covers.
Life then was like a Peter Pan adventure...together we’d jump from one adventure to another!
All the kids participated in DeeDee Knierim’s Cat’s of Ice in 2005. Sammy was the older cat version of little Annabelle I recall.
Sammy and Annabelle in Cats On Ice 2005
Then my life changed forever on September 16, 2005 when my husband Dan was in a horrible accident. Hellene and Betty came to the rescue and helped me get through one of the darkest times in our family’s life. They cared for my kids while I was at the hospital with Dan. Dan miraculously lived, but during the time he was in a coma and supposed to die, Hellene and Betty brought their children to the rink to play with my children. I would skate in the middle of the ice doing figures as the kids played. We also went roller skating together.
After Dan miraculously recovered, life seemed to return to normal, but during that time of recovery, the wonderful Ice Arena at Chapel Hills Mall closed. I took my kids to the World Arena to skate and Hellene followed with Sam.
Annabelle and Sam
I continued to teach Sam and Annabelle there and the four kids continued to play together there. Every Monday we’d skip the heavy duty World Arena training and we would go to Colorado College to skate instead. Sammy even suggested Annabelle and her American Girl Skating Doll do the Rhythm Blues with him at Colorado College!
The stress of skating at the World Arena took some of the fun out of skating, but I do remember Sam and Annabelle doing a pair skating routine together to Star Wars at one Friday Fire and Ice exhibitions. They continued to be the cutest pair team ever!
Larisa and Sam
Sam began lessons with my dear friend Larisa during the time of Dan’s accident and Larisa took him far, but eventually the pressure to have a World Arena coach took over and Sam switched to Eddie Shipstad as his main coach.
Sam did incredibly well under both Eddie and Larisa and qualified for Junior Nationals at the same time my kids did. Hellene was a true and very nervous skating mom I recall. Sam won the Juvenile Boys regional title and Annabelle won the test track Juvenile Girls regional title.
Jeff, Sam, and Hellene Anderson at the Renaissance Festival
As the kids grew, we continued to do special things together. We especially tried to get together at Passover. We did a Break Fast at Hellene’s parents’ townhouse after Hellene moved her parents from Queens, New York to Colorado Springs. We went to the Renaissance Festival with Hellene’s husband Jeff, Hellene, and Sam. We played at the park. I took Sam to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo with Annabelle. We went to New York City in 2007 and skated at the Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers together and Hellene showed us NYC New Yorker style. I remember the kids having a blast at FAO Swartz toy store and going on a Ferris Wheel together right in the store!
After Hellene’s mother Selma passed, we got to know Hellene’s father Leo better and grew to love him. What a wonderful grandfather he was! I remember at a Thanksgiving meal at our home that Leo said he was so thankful for Sam and Hellene and they both had given him hope after Selma passed.
Hellene and Leo
When Sam had his Bar Mitzvah, I will never forget the look of the proud grandpa on Leo’s face.
On the tragic day when my dear friend Larisa’s 25 year old daughter Valerie was murdered (Memorial Day weekend 2008), Hellene was the one who called me with the horrible news. At Valerie’s funeral, Hellene saved front row seats for us to sit in so we could be together.
Larisa, Hellene, Jo Ann
Sam also took part at Mountain Vista Homeschool Academy and the Colorado Springs Conservatory, so we had that in common. Hellene homeschooled him for a time.
Thanksgiving With Sam, Leo, Hellene, and Jeff
As the kids grew older, Sam left skating and went to public school. Hellene and her husband Jeff divorced. We saw Hellene and Sam less and less, but we continued to have Shabbat dinners, Passover Seders, and Thanksgivings together.
If I needed something, if Hellene could handle it, she was there for me.
She helped me buy all the food for my daughter Rebekah’s Bat Mitzvah in June of 2012. Sam helped usher and greet people.
She would watch our dog. She would feed our tortoise. I would bring her my unwanted care packages from Torah Mates around Purim, Passover, and Chanukah.
Sam, Joel, Rebekah, and Annabelle at Rosh Hashanah In the Mountains
In 2019, I needed someone to drive with me to the mountains to see Annabelle at the Ramah Outdoor Adventure Camp and we had a wonderful time together. She was at Rebekah’s 21st birthday celebration and showered Rebekah with gifts.
When Rebekah had surgery to remove a benign tumor, both Hellene and Betty were there.
When her father Leo died, I HAD to be at the service. Betty was there too and so was Larisa.
In August of 2020, Rebekah delivered a birthday cake to Hellene. She told me how proud she was of Rebekah. “You raised an incredible daughter,” she told me.
Betty died suddenly at the end of 2017, leaving Kelli without a mother, so Hellene tried her best to be a mother to Kelli.
During the Pandemic shutdown, I called Hellene a several times, but I did not see her face to face. We’d text once in a while too. We’d both been a part of Temple Shalom’s Tuesday morning Torah Study so once in a while we’d both listen in to the study via Zoom during the lockdown. She told me that the lockdown had not affected her much since she'd been withdrawing from socializing for a long time and had only ventured out for doctors appointments, shopping, and Pokeman (she loved Pokeman!).
Kelli texted me via Facebook Messenger on the Saturday morning May 22, 2021 asking if we could go by Hellene’s townhome since she had not answered her phone for three to four days. Kelli lives in Texas now and said that Hellene had never gone that long without responding and was worried. I told Kelli we were in California visiting family, so Kelli asked a friend in Colorado Springs to check on her instead. Late on Saturday afternoon, Kelli called me and told me in tears that Hellene was no longer with us.
Hearing this news is and was a shock. I think of Carole King’s song “Now and Forever” when I think of Hellene. Some of the lyrics are: “Now and forever, you are a part of me, and the memory cuts like a knife...didn’t we love together? Didn’t we laugh together? Now and forever, I will always think of you.”
Yes, Hellene, your were part of my life and the entire Schneider-Farris family will always be with and think of you. You are a part of me; a part of us. Hugs and love also to her son Sam and also to Kelli and to her two ex-husbands, Jeff and David. We love you Hellene.
