My Pen Pal since 1979 recently died - RIP Debbie Knauss (Deb Hackman)

Deborah Knauss Hackman
December 13, 1958 —- February 23, 2023

(Note:  I meant to publish this post in February or March of 2023…the year passed quickly and I never completed the post until late December 2023, but remembering my friend Debbie Knauss Hackman as 2023 ends is so important to me.)

When I was newly married and 22 years old,  I put an advertisement in SKATING Magazine for an ice dance partner.  I got all sorts of responses.  One response was from Debbie Knauss who thought she’d seen me perform at the US National Figure Skating Championships.  She wasn’t interested in being my skating partner, but wanted to tell me she saw me skate and enjoyed my skating.  It turned out she saw someone named Judy Ferris perform, not Jo Ann Schneider Farris (me), but since she wrote me such a nice letter, I asked her if she’d like to be my pen pal since we were about the same age.

So….

When I was 22 years old in 1979, (Debbie Knauss) Deb Hackman and I became Pen Pals.  

We were so much a part of one another’s lives for decades, but we didn’t meet face to face until 2014.  

On February 24, 2023, I learned that Deb suddenly passed away.  I was in shock.  

The photos below are from our day together in 2014.  Also in the photo is Lisa Threston who I went to junior high school with who knew Deb too, my late father, and Deb’s daughter Rachel.  

I feel like a piece of my life has been ripped away suddenly since we poured our hearts out to one another as young women.  We were there for one another for marriages, births, deaths and losses, holidays, and life’s ups and downs.  Just knowing I can’t just say “Hi” will be difficult

Remembering my dear friend Gina Ciavolino Moss - June 16, 1958 - November 17, 2023

During 2023 I had more than one loss, but the recent loss of my dear friend Gina Moss hit me hard.

Gina and I met somewhere in the early 1980s, but we became close friends in 2005 shortly after my husband Dan was in a horrible accident.  She took the time to reach out to me and what she did meant so much.  Every email and every call from Gina made me so happy. 

She really cared and took the time to share joy with me.  She would talk to me about music, the photos she took of birds and the outdoors, about her children and husband Josh, and about lots of other topics.  I looked forward to every communication from Gina.

Gina

After Dan got better, we continued to send letters and emails to one another and talk on the phone.

Gina would tell me about her physical problems and I could tell they were very serious.  She told me she was using an electric wheelchair and that the vehicle she drove had been adjusted for her disability.  

She was genuinely interested in my family’s life and read all my letters and emails and updates with interest.

When my book MY SKATING LIFE came out, Gina was one of the first people to review it on Amazon.  

And…When Gina’s book You're Never Too Old to Have a Happy Childhood was published, I was so excited and bought it right away, but it took some time for me to finish reading it. 

Gina was one of those people that always had something wonderful to say and lit up a room.  She had the most beautiful voice and was also fluent in sign language because her grandparents were deaf and her mother was a sign language interpreter.

Gina and Josh Moss - Newlyweds

I remember when she and Josh Moss got engaged and the beautiful music they could make together.  I remember when they bought their first VCR since I remember Josh talking to Gina on the phone about recording shows.  I remember when their children were born.  I remember when they moved to Ohio and then when they moved to North Carolina.

The Moss Family

When my son Joel was touring with Disney On Ice and the tour went to Greensboro, North Carolina, Josh and Gina picked him up and took him out to dinner.  I was so grateful for that.

I would call Gina from time to time and one time when I called, I learned they had moved to Irvine, California and that was near Anaheim where Joel was doing a Disney On Ice show, so Joel, my dad, and I visited Josh and Gina.

Shortly after that I made a commitment to visit Gina and Josh whenever I went to California.  

Here’s a card I sent to Gina

Covid took over and I couldn’t go to California or visit, but when it was safe, I saw Gina and Josh at least two to three more times.  Then, my father died and I could no longer visit California, so I decided to write Gina letters and cards (not emails) since it seemed it became harder and harder for her to respond.  I just wanted her to know that I cared even if I did not hear back from her.

Gina’s death on November 17, 2023 caught me off guard.  I’d been thinking about her and was sad  couldn’t go to California to see her.  It always happens that way:  I think of someone and then they are gone.  

Thank you for being my friend Gina.  I can still hear your voice and see your smile.  Miss you.